i can get up but it's TOUGH!
i think someone should create a service for young, single people who hurt themselves at home but don't want to burden friends with a hospital trip or to fetch prescriptions/supplies from the crappy rite-aid.
sick? just press the button on your new white-trash gold "medallion" necklace and a fresh-faced helper comes to the rescue with fresh o.j. and tissues. no questions asked, no guilt-trips made.
who's with me?
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
guess who got a digital camera!!!
okayyy...i'll LOOK at the camera but that's IT! my nephew Josh, future heartbreaker.
yeaaaa, it's been awhile
omigoodness! i don't have time for this blog right now but i'm gonna do it anyway. typing furiously, like a crazy-crazed lady with the devil in her eyes.
FIRE!
it's in my eyes because i am so crazy crazed.
MEETINGS!
bo-ring.
NACHOS!
on my mind 24/7.
THONGS!
never.
FIRE!
it's in my eyes because i am so crazy crazed.
MEETINGS!
bo-ring.
NACHOS!
on my mind 24/7.
THONGS!
never.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
hot 97
A friend said that only puerto ricans and black people listen to hip-hop radio station HOT 97. That's not true. I listen, I mean I don't understand what they are saying, but still!
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
don't it always seem to go...
that you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
This is especially true when certain people like you and you don't like them back that way, but then they go and get themselves people who like them that way and THEN you start liking them more and more and MORE.
Thank goodness this has never happened to me!!(!)
This is especially true when certain people like you and you don't like them back that way, but then they go and get themselves people who like them that way and THEN you start liking them more and more and MORE.
Thank goodness this has never happened to me!!(!)
Monday, August 09, 2004
(don't) pass the mic
Before our last Laugh Sucka! show, my comedy compadre, Melanie, and I, handed out fliers for the show. At first I tried a loud, jokey approach - "AWESOME AND FUN FREE COMEDYS SHOW!!!!!!" One gentleman greeted me with "You're awesome!" and snubbed my outstretched flier-laden hand.
Then I toned it way down.
So in a casual, familiar voice I casually, familiarly approached passerbys. "Hey, like comedy? It's free." Or sometimes i'd just be silently shaking with tears.
OK - FF (fast-forward) to the show. We netted 2 people from the street. Both old men who had nowhere else to go. The 1st one left after 5 minutes. The 2nd guy stayed the whole time. He wore a white undershirt with a special homeade message:
I'm sorry.
I forgot.
My brain is full of shit.
Actually, it wasn't even that, but something like it that made less sense. Of course his t-shirt gets some notice during the show - it's what we call "talking to the crowd" in comedy-speak. Melanie invites him up to speak after all the comics go up. It is clear he has something he wants to say. He gets up and apologizes for stuttering then launches into several minutes of incoherent sentences, peppered with "fuck yous" and other curses. I think he had Tourettes and couldn't help himself. His first sentence was kinda funny - "It's taken me 25 years to say a full sentence" but then he lost his focus. Watching him struggle with words made me uncomfortable, but he got a kick out of having the mic. So, sometimes comedy can turn into one big, crazy mitzvah - even if it makes you squirm.
Then I toned it way down.
So in a casual, familiar voice I casually, familiarly approached passerbys. "Hey, like comedy? It's free." Or sometimes i'd just be silently shaking with tears.
OK - FF (fast-forward) to the show. We netted 2 people from the street. Both old men who had nowhere else to go. The 1st one left after 5 minutes. The 2nd guy stayed the whole time. He wore a white undershirt with a special homeade message:
I'm sorry.
I forgot.
My brain is full of shit.
Actually, it wasn't even that, but something like it that made less sense. Of course his t-shirt gets some notice during the show - it's what we call "talking to the crowd" in comedy-speak. Melanie invites him up to speak after all the comics go up. It is clear he has something he wants to say. He gets up and apologizes for stuttering then launches into several minutes of incoherent sentences, peppered with "fuck yous" and other curses. I think he had Tourettes and couldn't help himself. His first sentence was kinda funny - "It's taken me 25 years to say a full sentence" but then he lost his focus. Watching him struggle with words made me uncomfortable, but he got a kick out of having the mic. So, sometimes comedy can turn into one big, crazy mitzvah - even if it makes you squirm.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
i'll try anything once!
Really? Like... clean your bits of hair out of the sink once? Or maybe sweep stray garlic skin off the kitchen floor once? I thought so, daredevil.
As you can sense, I do not like when people proclaim they will try anything once, when clearly they would not. I realize they are using this statement in regards to an adventure (jumping out of a plane, threesome etc.) but the attitude behind it is irritating AND annoying. Don't say you are going to try anything once, just do it.
[end rant]
As you can sense, I do not like when people proclaim they will try anything once, when clearly they would not. I realize they are using this statement in regards to an adventure (jumping out of a plane, threesome etc.) but the attitude behind it is irritating AND annoying. Don't say you are going to try anything once, just do it.
[end rant]
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
shin-tastic
BORING ALERT:
Last night I BASHED my shin in the middle of the night. It's startling how intense pain can make you feel angry and vulnerable all at once. After returning from my mid-nightly trip to the bathroom (what, this isn't normal?)I decided to take a running jump...into my sharp-edged uninstalled air conditioner. I hopped around my room, clutching my bruised, torn shin, yelling at myself for my stupid clumsiness. After some ice and ibuprofen, I was feeling... shin-tastic! I love healing.
Last night I BASHED my shin in the middle of the night. It's startling how intense pain can make you feel angry and vulnerable all at once. After returning from my mid-nightly trip to the bathroom (what, this isn't normal?)I decided to take a running jump...into my sharp-edged uninstalled air conditioner. I hopped around my room, clutching my bruised, torn shin, yelling at myself for my stupid clumsiness. After some ice and ibuprofen, I was feeling... shin-tastic! I love healing.
Monday, August 02, 2004
POV: carbs
Carbs are a real "hot-button" debate issue happening in the world of nutrition education and diet fads. But why aren't our presidential candidates talking about their carb intakes? I have no idea where they stand. Does Kerry eat rolls at fancy Demmie dinners, even perhaps with a little pat of butter? Does Bush eat donuts on his "Donuts Are Good For America!!!" campaign in high donut-eating-per-capita states?
I wonder.
Personally, I am a pro-carber at heart. BUT - every now and then a little anti-carb sentiment creeps in. Society? I blame it. The other night I was enjoying an old-fashioned roll - still dusty on top with flour. Mid-gobble, I reflected on the airiness of the texture on the inside and I thought "It's a little airy - a little airy. Less carbs." I bring up this incident to illustrate the power of collective carb fear on this staunch supporter of bread.
Back to the election. My vote's up for grabs. If I see Kerry in a pro-carb photo op, I'm all his. Although a well-timed donut tour from Bush could really sway me...deciding is SO hard!
I wonder.
Personally, I am a pro-carber at heart. BUT - every now and then a little anti-carb sentiment creeps in. Society? I blame it. The other night I was enjoying an old-fashioned roll - still dusty on top with flour. Mid-gobble, I reflected on the airiness of the texture on the inside and I thought "It's a little airy - a little airy. Less carbs." I bring up this incident to illustrate the power of collective carb fear on this staunch supporter of bread.
Back to the election. My vote's up for grabs. If I see Kerry in a pro-carb photo op, I'm all his. Although a well-timed donut tour from Bush could really sway me...deciding is SO hard!
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