this bugs me.

was it necessary to anthropomorphize m&ms?

jokesplosion #539

what time is it when you're always impatient?

NOW O' CLOCK!

Trendiest Food Right Now

SPINACH! If you haven't heard, spinach is the hottest salad green to be eating this week. Going home this weekend for the Jewish New Year, that's Rosh Hashana to most, or That Holiday Where You Eat Apples N' Honey for some OR Time To Get Bored in Temple.

Anyway, mom's cookin' up several dishes per my request:

Kosher Chicken Spinach Roll-ups
Gefilte Spinach Fish
Egg Drop Soup with Bits O' Spinach

MMMmmmmMMMMMMM!!!

On a more serious note, I feel bad for Spinach. E. Coli can really ruin a food group.

stay strong - without eating spinach - it's hard, ask Popeye - but just try - for me...

x to the o,

molls-'pinach - reisner

tip #48

If you're carrying a banana in one hand and see somebody on the street who you want to call you - use the BANANA to gesture "Call Me!" instead of your free hand. It just adds that extra (and much needed) layer of humor to the situation.

SO...

I just cleaned out a bag I use all the time, and discovered half a cashew at the bottom. Makes me think how long have I've been givin' this cashew a free ride. Couple weeks? 4 months? Busted, cashew, totally busted.

Stoner Thought #1001

You know you're stoned when you go on your local aquarium's website and you're like, "Omigod! A whole F.A.Q. page about the ocean!!!"

thinkin' about g'raffes

Is it me, or do giraffe's have antennaes?

haven't seen abraham lincoln in the tabs lately. wonder what's goin' on with him. dittos for alan thicke and meredith baxter birney.

occupational thoughts

During the the height of feminism, i wonder if women who hauled garbage used to get up in arms over what they were called. No, we're garbagewomen, right ladies? actually, i've never seen a garbagewoman! but i have seen a postwoman.

question for the panel

Is Godzilla pronounced "Godzeeeya" in Spanish?

when it's raining out, I like to take a shower... so I can be one with nature.

i like to overhear conversations. especially the ones i have with myself.

I'm embarassed to say...

tonight I ate Buffalo Chicken Poppers at TGIF.

Alone.

Please, don't ask! NO!

Okaaayyyy...well, I was walking along 5th avenue in the E. 50's en route to a really cool show by a British comedian Daniel Kitson. It's called Stories for the Wobbly-Hearted and he crafts these tales of loneliness and humanity and humor that are quite compelling.

Anyway, back to the Poppers. As I walked towards TGIF, I thought "hmmm, maybe it's not so bad. It's been awhile, after all." Then I pass the door, changing my mind - there must be a better option in this tony neighborhood. THEN, i turn on my heels, partially out of hunger - mostly out of curiousity - and confidently find myself at a red and white striped table for two, alone.

TG there were no balloons tied to my chair! There were red and white balloons tied to other chairs to create that "random, festive" look.

The menu is long and includes many visuals which only help make me decide what not to get. Some of the menu items are crossed out with a sticker on them saying "Forced into early retirement".

Huh?

It's true.

I guess it's TGIF's attempt at a sense of humor.

Long story longer - I go with the Poppers at a mere $9.99. TG I didn't get the Chicken Strips - that was a cool $14.35. When did this place get so pricey. I mean it! The place was PACKED.

After I left I felt pretty good. Now I know I never need to eat there again. Curiousity satisfied, stomach hurts.

Good PopperNight,

molly

when everything reminds you of someone

ever have one of those days, ya know - THOSE DAYS - when you go outside and all you see are reminders of someone you used to like? ok, so get this - i used to (ya know - USED TO) like this guy and we went out on some dates. ya know - DATES.

so the other day...[pause, look around suspiciously], i go outside [lower voice as if telling a secret] and it's like the world is conspiring to REMIND me, nay, BEG of me to recall a certain someone i'd rather delete from my memory.

for instance:

on one of our dates, we got pizza.

today, i went for a walk, and saw like 14 people eating pizza.

ok, molly, i say to myself. that's a little weird.

then i overhear some dude talking about his band.

okaaayyyy, weird because he loved music.

and the kicker? i'm about to walk in my apartment when i run into him!

or at least i thought it was him - turn out it was another guy with a similar looking t-shirt he used to wear.

man, i think somebody upstairs is trying to tell me something.

practical wishes

i've always been a wisher. 11:11 - i'm on it! birthday candles - done. i even make my own wishes for other people's birthday candles.

but lately...

i don't know.........

i just feel that my wishes are taking too long to come true.

true love?
world peace?
free nachos?

so now i make wishes for things i have total control over! like, in the morning, i'll be getting ready and i'll be like "Dear G-d, please make it so I wear my favorite jeans today. i mean it!!!!!"

WISH COMPLETE.

you should try it sometime. it's not that satisfying.

i can't explain it but...

right now i feel like a washed up ceramics teacher.

or maybe a down n' out millionaire?

i dunno, you tell me how i feel. It might be more accurate!

hair goals

The sad thing is, I have more defined long-term goals for my hair (growing out bangs) then for my life (not sure what's going on).

ending post rampage riiiiiiight...now!

goodnight,
molly

sureally long previews

yesterday i saw a move called "The Breakup". It starred two indie actors, Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. I think they're on the verge of breaking out into mainstream stuff pretty soon, based on lots of factors and variables I won't bore you with right now. But before this hidden gem of a movie began, there was the longest preview I ever saw.

How long was it?

Well, it was so long, that for about 7 minutes into it, I was convinced we walked into the wrong movie. There was no clue whatsoever, no climactic music hinting at the peak of the scene, that led you to believe you were watching anything other than the beginning of a full length movie. It was disturbing. My friend was clueless too. I was about to walk out of the theater and query the ticket taker, when finally the voice over guy gave relief. BTW, the preview was for "The Devil Wears Prada" which I no longer want to see based on the preview.

Also, "The Break-up" was pretty bad, but not so terrible that you wouldn't tell your friends not to Netflix it. Jen and Vince aren't a convincing a couple as, say, I don't know, BRAD AND ANGIE?!?!?!?!?!

My motto for life...

LIVE IT!

my current fave expresh

is:

"stop harshing on my mellow"

i've been using it lately with just a smidge of abandon*.

*i just had to google the phrase "with abandon" and "without abandon" to determine which one meant what**

** early alzheimer's