Tuesday, November 13, 2007

cute bordering on i can't take it

i can't tell if these kittens were sedated so they'd stay in their mugs or WHAT but i think the photogs truly captured the essence of what makes kittens so GD adorable! GRRRYAYAYYAAAWWWWWW!!!

i 'm going to cafe press the shit outta this. kittens in mugs ON A MUG! check back soon for product links.

Friday, November 09, 2007

info on my burgeoning career!

Do you know why my hands need to stay looking young or at least moisturized? Because i am inching my way up the hand model industry pole! i haven't formally announced anything yet because it's still all new, but i am breaking into the biz...i guess my hands are unstoppable!



shall we take a look? let's! my most lucrative hand modeling gig to date! photo still used in razr cell phone tv spot.


hands/head shot - now, most hands models don't usually have this kind of pic (including the face) , they usually just do the hands. a lot of clients really just like my kooky look, i guess!


thumb photo- will be used in a sign language photo-instructional manual. it's a one-gesture joke amongst many sign language users. the above photo means, "i wish you could hear me, because my hands are getting tired!" in sign language.


sideview, spreaded fingers - hand will be photoshopped into a TGIFridays print ad for their new item, "Curiously Lumpy But I'll Eat 'Em Anyway Chicken Littles". It will look like I'm grabbing for a handful of delicious TGIF food!



and lastly, the "headshot" for my hands.

So, if next time you see me and my paws are encased in lotion-lined gloves, please don't be po'd if i can't take my gloves off during dinners out. my hands now need to be in a constant state of lotion-absorption. it's crazy! but i do it.

thanks for sharing my interest in my new career,
love,
molly


Tuesday, November 06, 2007

b-washed by the googs

i think i'm spending too much time ADD'ing out on the internet. whenever a question pops into my brain that i can't answer on my own (which is most of the time), i lunge towards google. so now, when i'm in a real conversation with someone, like face2face, and they ask me something...i literally fake google the query into a search box in my brain. the problem with this method is...no links. nothin' comes up.

just a lone image of nachos, circa 1986:

Monday, October 29, 2007



a convincing lie is to tell someone you are a model for hair dye boxes. these are some ways to make it believable:

1) KNOW YOUR BRANDS - don't mix-up your garniers with your clairols with your loreals. look smart!

2) KNOW THE NAME OF THE DYE YOU MODELED - is it chardonnay or ginger ale? be sure.

3)IF YOU GET CAUGHT - act like you were joking the whole time. besides, who lies about being a hair dye box model?

Monday, October 15, 2007

tip #3,689

next time you eat beets, put a post-it note on the bathroom mirror that says "you ate beets!" when you pee pink, just refer to post-it for reason.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

FOLKS! hey. what is UP? lay it on me. GUYS!!! i'm back in town. i was away for a coupla weeks, speeding in a gold ford taurus up the west coast of america. may i share some moments?



you'll have to crane your neck a bit to catch this doozy! i found this outfit to be the coziest for driving 1,700 miles. wore it every other day.



just turn your monitor on its side to get a lookie at this elegant toilette at the famous madonna inn, just a couple miles south of san luis obispo! google madonna inn to check out their nutty rooms! sorry, links are hard for me.





lisa and molly in front of wads of ABC gum in BUBBLEGUM ALLEY! in the heart of san luis obispo. that alley was so goofy and wacky yet loveable too.


the views along big sur were SICK! they were so sweet. ohmaga! seriously, if you're ever feeling like there is no beauty left in the world, go to big sur and sture. i mean, stare.

another monitor-turner. the mind boggles and the heart quickens when around the magnificent redwoods. i found the r-woods to be magical and slightly creepy.



and that concludes my slideshow! lots of other photos were taken, as well. apologies for my circa 1874 blogging skills. it's cool to be back in the 718, but i do miss the freedom of the open road, as experienced inside my gold ford taurus rental, with gps system. i'll be back west coast! oh yes.

love n' fluff n' nutters,

molly

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

total update

greetings readershipmates! sorry it's been so long - there have been lots of changes in ol' molly's L.I.F.E. above is a photo from a celebratory solo dance I partook in on my birthday, whereby I danced very sensually, alone, in front of a mirror. It was an intense and private moment, which I thought I would share with you. Also, I quit my job and will be spending most of my free time blogging for this site. Just kidding! I did quit my job though, which is totally weird and freakcrazy, but as humans sometimes say "IT'S ALL GOOD." Really, it is, for now.

love,
molly "where my cube at?" reisner

Monday, August 06, 2007

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

used to looove wearing these n-gowns when i was a little girl. just found out they come in adult sizes too, which depresses me. should be getting mine in a couple days!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

self-portraits





picture booth + molly =each and every tuesday night from 8pm-12am.
is that vain?

Friday, July 13, 2007

a tale of two cities, with the same high profile name

after yahoo'ing (i yahoo when i want to be retro-search-engine-ing) the weather in chicago, yahoo asked me if i meant chicago, illinois or chicago, wisconsin. and i was all "yahoo! of course, illinois." which then spurred a yahoo weather search of all major u.s. cities - how many new yorks are there? well, one if you ask me. TEN if you ask yahoo. does anyone really want to know the temperature in new york, georgia? i guess the people who live there do. i'd like to rename all the los angeles, texases and cleveland, tennessee's out there. i'm embarassed for these towns. they must feel so overshadowed.

this was a weird topic, but thanks for sticking through readership!

(the real )windy city bound,
molly

Monday, July 09, 2007

4 de julio

this is what automatically happens when you put Britney's "Hit Me Baby" on the ipod.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

indoor fireworks

Hope everyone had a BLAST on July 4th!!! The above picture was taken last night from inside my living room. I bought some f-works from 'South of the Border' during my Teen Tour back in '87, and decided to finally test them out in my apartment. Pretty beautiful, right? I'm a little 3rd degree burned but totally worth it.

love,
molly

Saturday, June 23, 2007

uh oh guys, it's...

INSTIGATING AWKWARD MOMENTS NIGHT!!

Tonight I plan to make one or more people slightly uncomfortable with a delicate combination of invasive questioning and aggressive humor. I can't wait!

my new pick-up line!

"Do you want to head back to my place and fill out my dress with a baby?"

This only works if your'e wearing one of those maternity-lite dresses that make you wonder if she is or isn't "you know what".

Thursday, June 21, 2007

potpourri sentence of the day

My roomate Jenn said the best sentence of the day:

"The old chinese man seemed very concerned that I didn't have a napkin"

it was a real "you had to be there moment".

'night,
molly

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

mtv spot y'all



Watch the re-cut version of Vagina Etiquette on MTV's Short Cirtcuitz show Thursday, June 21 @ 10:30pm on your TV! It's also here.

love,
molly "keepin' it proper" reisner

Thursday, June 14, 2007

please don't wear message shirts that make me sad for you

i saw a girl on the train today wearing a shirt that said "overexposed" and i was like "are you? because i've never seen your face before."

other message t-shirts that are depressing:

- i survived the holocaust!
- homeless people do it better.
- ithaca is gorges.

happy thursday fanbase! and a special shout-out to my manbase (my male fans i can only assume i have. hi dad!)

british lurrrrve,
molly

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

a complete lie or failure to achieve goal OR a pretty funny joke if intended as such - click on me

your lucky june 13th awaits you in the below triple post!

so guys - this is my 3rd post today. I'VE NEVER POSTED THIS MUCH IN MY LIFE! if you're an avid mollyreisner.blogspot reader such as myself, then you understand that blogging happens so preciously little. i've decided to give my readers a gift today...enjoy .

all my love (though i don't have that much to give),
molly