I wish Trader Joe's was like an old-timey trading post where you could bring in anything for a trade. Below are some comparable trades:

1 Gin Blossom's CD (unscratched!!) = bag of TJ walnuts
4 batik wall hangings (circa 1995) = bar of tea tree oil soap
1 J. Crew hunter green anorak (circa 1988) = bottle of TJ special reserve merlot

or I guess I could just donate the stuff.